My Own Worst Enemy

"I've taken stupid to a whole new level now!"
"Rebecca, don't be so hard on yourself!"

"She's so much smoother than I am!"
"I wouldn't say that, Rebecca."

"She probably thinks I'm a thief."
"I'm sure sure she doesn't think that!"

"I was terrible!"
"You were just nervous.  You did great!"

"Hahahaha ... sorry, I'm kinda new... don't quite know what I'm doing yet."

"Take time to smell the roses on the way.  Relax a little.  Don't take yourself so seriously!"

These are all instances from the past three weeks in which it's been revealed that I really am rather hard on myself.  I've been hard on myself before, but until I recently got this job, I didn't realize just how much damage I was doing to myself.  Especially when my boss started mentioning how hard I was on myself.

I decided I would try to fix it.  After all, I didn't want to keep hurting myself, and I didn't want to continue seeming unprofessional to customers, as I knew I was.  Whenever I felt like I wasn't doing great, I simply strove to do better and left my mistakes at "I'm sorry" instead of trying to justify my mistakes by talking about how I was new and really didn't know what I was doing and was terrible and whatever else.

I also began to bite my tongue whenever I felt like putting myself down.    It didn't take long for my check on my words to begin to check to my thoughts and my attitude towards myself.

I'm still working on it.  But I am not a failure.

I am Tenethia.

I refuse to be My Own Worst Enemy.