Striving Upwards

Tomorrow I start eleventh grade. I feel like I just barely finished tenth (in mid-April) and now here I am, completely unprepared for my junior year of highschool. This year is going to be a very interesting one. Although my work load is smaller (I'm taking five classes rather than six), my new job at Chick-Fil-A will be vying for the top thing I will be concentrating on. I will be needing to balance these tasks (among others), which is bound to be an adventure. Besides that, I have several goals I've set for myself this new year.

1. Read my Bible daily. Make it a point to work things around it, rather than working it around things.

2. Learn to get up at a set time. Right now I set my alarm for thirty minutes earlier than I need to get up, and sluggishly kinda roll around until thirty minutes after I need to get up.

3. Do my homework nightly.  Usually I do it before each subject throughout the day, and it usually doesn't quite get done thoroughly.  Doing it before I go to bed is a better way to do things.

4.  Finish school projects on time.  Rather than at the end of the semester. *rolls eyes heavenward innocently* (yes, this is my practice...)

5.  Write something weekly.  First, I run Writer's Group and ought to keep my writerly habits up.  Second, writing is a great way to chill, and I'm gonna need it.

6.  Make something weekly.  Scrapbook, make a card, write a letter, weave a belt, it doesn't matter.  But I'm going to try to do something creative (besides write) every week, because it's relaxing.

The adventure begins!  Chemistry and plane geometry, here come I!

My Own Worst Enemy

"I've taken stupid to a whole new level now!"
"Rebecca, don't be so hard on yourself!"

"She's so much smoother than I am!"
"I wouldn't say that, Rebecca."

"She probably thinks I'm a thief."
"I'm sure sure she doesn't think that!"

"I was terrible!"
"You were just nervous.  You did great!"

"Hahahaha ... sorry, I'm kinda new... don't quite know what I'm doing yet."

"Take time to smell the roses on the way.  Relax a little.  Don't take yourself so seriously!"

These are all instances from the past three weeks in which it's been revealed that I really am rather hard on myself.  I've been hard on myself before, but until I recently got this job, I didn't realize just how much damage I was doing to myself.  Especially when my boss started mentioning how hard I was on myself.

I decided I would try to fix it.  After all, I didn't want to keep hurting myself, and I didn't want to continue seeming unprofessional to customers, as I knew I was.  Whenever I felt like I wasn't doing great, I simply strove to do better and left my mistakes at "I'm sorry" instead of trying to justify my mistakes by talking about how I was new and really didn't know what I was doing and was terrible and whatever else.

I also began to bite my tongue whenever I felt like putting myself down.    It didn't take long for my check on my words to begin to check to my thoughts and my attitude towards myself.

I'm still working on it.  But I am not a failure.

I am Tenethia.

I refuse to be My Own Worst Enemy.